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Things happened. Even after a year.
I thought things would tone down in 2015.
But no.


Conflicts still exists.
Relationship problems still there.


I asked him to let go of me today.
Sucks to say that, it makes me feel miserable.


For the whole day, I literally sat down & stoned.
I lost my appetite for the first time.
Eating plain food like those people who are sick are eating.


I feel as if I am the worst person on the Earth.
I hurt people.
I don't know.


It seriously sucks to live like this.
Its not happy to do this decision. Not happy at ALL.
It feels terrible to the point where, I have no mood for everything.


I wanted him to change things badly. But due to some reasons & since my feelings are fading continuously, I feel that its the best that we stay as friends.
It's hurting to me.
But what can I do?


I know he can earn my feelings back.
I know it very well that he could.
But for now, I really just want a pure friendship with him.
Without any talking of romance.


Just friends where we had started with.
With no holding of hands, no hugging, no nothing.
Just friends where we can talk for hours, knowing each other better.


No flirting with each other. But just talks of things that we didn't discover before.


I said to him that, I believe that, if its meant to be, it will be.
What it means was that, if we were meant to be a couple, even if we let go now,
at the end, we will still belong to each other in some point of our life in the future.


I think a lot nowadays.
Too much that, I even wondered, will my brain get cancer from over-thinking?
Sometimes, I wondered.


Is it really hard to just not care about anything & move on?
I guess it is.


Feelings I really had.
I kept it to myself except for letting my best friend, Amy knowing about it.
Showing care behind the person I really love.
But I didn't tell him about it.


Suppose to solve a conflict between him & my cousin, I messed it up by hiding from him.


There are so many things I have done wrongly.
Until, I think he doesn't deserve a girl like me anymore.
He deserve someone better, in fact.


I've done so many things that hurt him.
Silly & stupid things.
But he still love me for who I am.
Even though I didn't show it, but I really do appreciate it a lot, from the bottom of my heart.


I showed off to my friends by saying those sweet things that you do.
I did it because I want to show you off.


As much as you said I didn't care, I do care a lot though I didn't show it.
I know you are sensitive.
That's why it's hard to approach you sometimes, when I had problems.
Especially those problems that has you in it.


I know today has been a tough day for you.
I disappoint you so many times, that saying sorry doesn't make up for anything.
I just want you to know that I will still be here for you if you need me.
Though I may have been distancing myself, it doesn't mean that you aren't on my mind.


I screwed things up today.
I thanked you for not blaming me, even though I would rather you to do so.


Now, I don't know what to say to make it seem appropriate.


I hope you understand a bit of my mindset now after reading this post.




PS: Please do not show other people okay. I only show you this.
And, don't reply to what I said here. I just want you to read and understand this. And don't ask me what reasons also. Just read and understand.




Day 354:

Simply another of December. 
Just another typical day in December. 

I wonder how its like to live my life without caring about others. 
I can do everything I want, my style & I won't even stand in other people's way. 

But sadly, I am too soft - hearted. 
To a point where, I had to care. 

I cried for no reason because I have no idea how to speak my mind out. 
Sometimes, I feel like I am myself when I am around with my besties or even my clique in school. 

Other times, when I am with the whole class, I feel as if I have two sides of me. 

One trying to fit into the class just so they won't judge me for who I am. 
Another one, is ruining myself in class where they think I am not a good person. 

I have regretted changing school or even making those decisions where I shouldn't have made them in the first place. 

But what's the point of regretting now, when I should have think about this in the first place before I do anything else. 

Also, 

If it wasn't for me being busybody, I guess, I won't stuck between him & my cousin. 
Things wouldn't be like this if I didn't be a busybody. 

Nobody knows what I feel at all. 
As much as I wanna share my thoughts out, I don't know how to.

Even if I did, they will mis-interpret what I meant.
Life is tough. 

I realized that, I can't be pleasing everyone at all. 

I drag people who weren't involved into my own personal problem. 

I am being so selfish. 

I am also being someone who I shouldn't be at all. 

Advices are given to me. I took them. 

But I ended up confusing myself. 

I need a break from all of these. 

I don't wanna talk about all of these anymore. 

Everytime I do, the same problems just keep arising. 

Yu Ting, please change for the better. 




I'm back once again , with this post after a long time.




Yeah , I am back finally after a few months . 
It's been awhile since I had posted here because I've been reluctant to on my precious computer . 

Lots of things are happening around me , I cannot express them now . It seems hard to juggled through them or even to maintain it . Everything I do wasn't as well as it was being planned , and it sucks . I don't feel excited for this year to come , really . I don't . 
I totally see no point for 2014 except with a goal to work harder in Polytechnic . I feel so burdened , oh wait , maybe not burdened but suffocated with lots of stuffs going through me . I'm glad that some things I can see good changes but there are some are not . 

And until now , I am still having my holiday even I had submitted my enrolment . I think I need a break away from Singapore , even if it's three days , I don't really mind at all . I don't feel peace , I don't feel happiness , I don't feel anything except for being SUFFOCATED . Yes I feel happy when I am with my besties , my families and my relatives . But the point is , the weather is too suffocating for me to always stay here . 

I'm here sighing , wondering what will happen after I start my Poly life . I wonder will anything change or will anything remains the same . I sometimes can't be bothered about it because every year there will be one person who will change , including me I guess . Okay , enough with these stupid emotions that are burning inside me . -.-

I'm glad to leave Secondary School but nnot glad to enter a new school life as I'm not prepared yet . It will requires more challenging stuffs and so , I shall start preparing now . Hwaiting ! (:

PS: I'm sorry for hurting you , sorry for the things I've irritated you / annoyed you / angered you / disliked by you . I will try my best to change my attitude . Please god , give me a chance . I will change my attitude towards him by not being such a bitch & even being so sacarstic anymore . It hurts me more after I've done it . Please give me chance to change into a female who doesn't feel offend easily , doesn't get angry easily . please give me another chance . I'm really sorry T.T 




It's been such a long time since I have posted here . Around 11 months already ? Roughly there (: 


Just ended Os yesterday & it started quite smoothly and ended smoothly too .  Things change , people change . I have also change to the bad side ? I am not the old cheerful me anymore . Maybe it's just me , but I get annoyed easily these days and my heart actually feels confused & even suffocating with things that I don't wish to know . As the years go by , I am growing up & I ought to take things in hands just like an adult instead of using other kiddy ways to solve it . 

The environment around me as well as those who are close to me , are changing . Life is always about changing right ? Let's keep this sensitivities aside & throw them away . I shall change myself to a better person after Os . A more considerate and caring person instead of one who always uses anger and shows an angry face to people . 

I feel lazy posting , but then , I couldn't bear to see my blog being dead now . A lot of things have been happening this year , be it on studies , school or private , they have eventually taught me a lot of things & I chose to accept them . I prefer things to stay just like that until the day I would chose to let go instead of holding them , including him . I would let go of him & carry on with my own . 

Speaking about after Os , well ... I haven't really have a lot of dramas to watch actually  I just realized . It's okay :D , I shall head to Youtube to watch videos then . Shall post when I feel like . Bye peeps (:  

PS : Sorry for all the things I've done to you . Now we are talking again but then I chose to show you my bitchiest side of me in front of you . I'm sorry for all the things and sacarsm I had said to you . Sorry for not being inconsiderate or even neglecting your feelings cause I forgotten . Maybe my pride was bigger than all these stuff . If there was another chance again , I would change myself to let you see . 




It's been a long time since I have blogged . 
Two more days to school reopen , and I am not even prepared yet . 
Can't wait to get out of the school already , even though a new year haven't even started . 
Have been going overseas during December , from Indonesia , back to Singapore , then from Singapore , go to Genting , then to Sunway Lagoon at KL , after that back to Singapore . Then went to Legoland at JB yesterday with my cousins . 
Such a tiring holidays , isn't it ? 
Next year's holiday , I think , I will work as much as possible . Don't really feel like going overseas for like so many times . 
So , I will update this coming Wednesday again then . 
Bye peeps ! 

Things happened. Even after a year.
I thought things would tone down in 2015.
But no.


Conflicts still exists.
Relationship problems still there.


I asked him to let go of me today.
Sucks to say that, it makes me feel miserable.


For the whole day, I literally sat down & stoned.
I lost my appetite for the first time.
Eating plain food like those people who are sick are eating.


I feel as if I am the worst person on the Earth.
I hurt people.
I don't know.


It seriously sucks to live like this.
Its not happy to do this decision. Not happy at ALL.
It feels terrible to the point where, I have no mood for everything.


I wanted him to change things badly. But due to some reasons & since my feelings are fading continuously, I feel that its the best that we stay as friends.
It's hurting to me.
But what can I do?


I know he can earn my feelings back.
I know it very well that he could.
But for now, I really just want a pure friendship with him.
Without any talking of romance.


Just friends where we had started with.
With no holding of hands, no hugging, no nothing.
Just friends where we can talk for hours, knowing each other better.


No flirting with each other. But just talks of things that we didn't discover before.


I said to him that, I believe that, if its meant to be, it will be.
What it means was that, if we were meant to be a couple, even if we let go now,
at the end, we will still belong to each other in some point of our life in the future.


I think a lot nowadays.
Too much that, I even wondered, will my brain get cancer from over-thinking?
Sometimes, I wondered.


Is it really hard to just not care about anything & move on?
I guess it is.


Feelings I really had.
I kept it to myself except for letting my best friend, Amy knowing about it.
Showing care behind the person I really love.
But I didn't tell him about it.


Suppose to solve a conflict between him & my cousin, I messed it up by hiding from him.


There are so many things I have done wrongly.
Until, I think he doesn't deserve a girl like me anymore.
He deserve someone better, in fact.


I've done so many things that hurt him.
Silly & stupid things.
But he still love me for who I am.
Even though I didn't show it, but I really do appreciate it a lot, from the bottom of my heart.


I showed off to my friends by saying those sweet things that you do.
I did it because I want to show you off.


As much as you said I didn't care, I do care a lot though I didn't show it.
I know you are sensitive.
That's why it's hard to approach you sometimes, when I had problems.
Especially those problems that has you in it.


I know today has been a tough day for you.
I disappoint you so many times, that saying sorry doesn't make up for anything.
I just want you to know that I will still be here for you if you need me.
Though I may have been distancing myself, it doesn't mean that you aren't on my mind.


I screwed things up today.
I thanked you for not blaming me, even though I would rather you to do so.


Now, I don't know what to say to make it seem appropriate.


I hope you understand a bit of my mindset now after reading this post.




PS: Please do not show other people okay. I only show you this.
And, don't reply to what I said here. I just want you to read and understand this. And don't ask me what reasons also. Just read and understand.




Day 354:

Simply another of December. 
Just another typical day in December. 

I wonder how its like to live my life without caring about others. 
I can do everything I want, my style & I won't even stand in other people's way. 

But sadly, I am too soft - hearted. 
To a point where, I had to care. 

I cried for no reason because I have no idea how to speak my mind out. 
Sometimes, I feel like I am myself when I am around with my besties or even my clique in school. 

Other times, when I am with the whole class, I feel as if I have two sides of me. 

One trying to fit into the class just so they won't judge me for who I am. 
Another one, is ruining myself in class where they think I am not a good person. 

I have regretted changing school or even making those decisions where I shouldn't have made them in the first place. 

But what's the point of regretting now, when I should have think about this in the first place before I do anything else. 

Also, 

If it wasn't for me being busybody, I guess, I won't stuck between him & my cousin. 
Things wouldn't be like this if I didn't be a busybody. 

Nobody knows what I feel at all. 
As much as I wanna share my thoughts out, I don't know how to.

Even if I did, they will mis-interpret what I meant.
Life is tough. 

I realized that, I can't be pleasing everyone at all. 

I drag people who weren't involved into my own personal problem. 

I am being so selfish. 

I am also being someone who I shouldn't be at all. 

Advices are given to me. I took them. 

But I ended up confusing myself. 

I need a break from all of these. 

I don't wanna talk about all of these anymore. 

Everytime I do, the same problems just keep arising. 

Yu Ting, please change for the better. 




I'm back once again , with this post after a long time.




Yeah , I am back finally after a few months . 
It's been awhile since I had posted here because I've been reluctant to on my precious computer . 

Lots of things are happening around me , I cannot express them now . It seems hard to juggled through them or even to maintain it . Everything I do wasn't as well as it was being planned , and it sucks . I don't feel excited for this year to come , really . I don't . 
I totally see no point for 2014 except with a goal to work harder in Polytechnic . I feel so burdened , oh wait , maybe not burdened but suffocated with lots of stuffs going through me . I'm glad that some things I can see good changes but there are some are not . 

And until now , I am still having my holiday even I had submitted my enrolment . I think I need a break away from Singapore , even if it's three days , I don't really mind at all . I don't feel peace , I don't feel happiness , I don't feel anything except for being SUFFOCATED . Yes I feel happy when I am with my besties , my families and my relatives . But the point is , the weather is too suffocating for me to always stay here . 

I'm here sighing , wondering what will happen after I start my Poly life . I wonder will anything change or will anything remains the same . I sometimes can't be bothered about it because every year there will be one person who will change , including me I guess . Okay , enough with these stupid emotions that are burning inside me . -.-

I'm glad to leave Secondary School but nnot glad to enter a new school life as I'm not prepared yet . It will requires more challenging stuffs and so , I shall start preparing now . Hwaiting ! (:

PS: I'm sorry for hurting you , sorry for the things I've irritated you / annoyed you / angered you / disliked by you . I will try my best to change my attitude . Please god , give me a chance . I will change my attitude towards him by not being such a bitch & even being so sacarstic anymore . It hurts me more after I've done it . Please give me chance to change into a female who doesn't feel offend easily , doesn't get angry easily . please give me another chance . I'm really sorry T.T 




It's been such a long time since I have posted here . Around 11 months already ? Roughly there (: 


Just ended Os yesterday & it started quite smoothly and ended smoothly too .  Things change , people change . I have also change to the bad side ? I am not the old cheerful me anymore . Maybe it's just me , but I get annoyed easily these days and my heart actually feels confused & even suffocating with things that I don't wish to know . As the years go by , I am growing up & I ought to take things in hands just like an adult instead of using other kiddy ways to solve it . 

The environment around me as well as those who are close to me , are changing . Life is always about changing right ? Let's keep this sensitivities aside & throw them away . I shall change myself to a better person after Os . A more considerate and caring person instead of one who always uses anger and shows an angry face to people . 

I feel lazy posting , but then , I couldn't bear to see my blog being dead now . A lot of things have been happening this year , be it on studies , school or private , they have eventually taught me a lot of things & I chose to accept them . I prefer things to stay just like that until the day I would chose to let go instead of holding them , including him . I would let go of him & carry on with my own . 

Speaking about after Os , well ... I haven't really have a lot of dramas to watch actually  I just realized . It's okay :D , I shall head to Youtube to watch videos then . Shall post when I feel like . Bye peeps (:  

PS : Sorry for all the things I've done to you . Now we are talking again but then I chose to show you my bitchiest side of me in front of you . I'm sorry for all the things and sacarsm I had said to you . Sorry for not being inconsiderate or even neglecting your feelings cause I forgotten . Maybe my pride was bigger than all these stuff . If there was another chance again , I would change myself to let you see . 




It's been a long time since I have blogged . 
Two more days to school reopen , and I am not even prepared yet . 
Can't wait to get out of the school already , even though a new year haven't even started . 
Have been going overseas during December , from Indonesia , back to Singapore , then from Singapore , go to Genting , then to Sunway Lagoon at KL , after that back to Singapore . Then went to Legoland at JB yesterday with my cousins . 
Such a tiring holidays , isn't it ? 
Next year's holiday , I think , I will work as much as possible . Don't really feel like going overseas for like so many times . 
So , I will update this coming Wednesday again then . 
Bye peeps ! 

[[ 28 May 2010 ]]
Hey! Im Ng Yu Ting. Born at 16th January 1997. From Singapore and studying at Peirce Secondary School. Im hyperactive and cheerful at all times . I love my parents as much as I love my friends . I might go mad if ue provoke me too much . I <3 Korea , TaiWan , Japan and New York . I love to listen to music and watch my favourite shows . I <3 my parents , love ones , gans and best friends . My favourites Korea Kpops is UKISS & others . Favourite member is Shin DongHo , KimHyunJoong , YangYoseob & more . I love going to school because I can crack jokes and have fun with my dearest friends . School rocks !. And dont RACISTS people in my dearest blog. Cause I dont like it .<3


1 . Have perfect peace in class .
2 . No quarreling .
3 . Go Korea .
4 . To see UKISS , KimHyunJoong & KPOP groups (:



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